It’s my first entry to the Disability Blog Carnival, hosted this month by Arthritic Young Thing. This month’s theme was Sex and I couldn’t resist pondering the influence of the Americans with Disabilities Act on the law’s 17th birthday!
Seventeen years ago, hundreds of disabled people and our allies gathered together for some good ‘ole fashioned hot, sweaty fun. This wasn’t your average romp on the White House lawn, but it was a day that would forever change the world for millions of people. I’ve heard the stories and seen the relics: paper fans to cool the lucky witnesses to the signing of this historic law, buttons declaring our pride, and even one of the pens that President Bush (the first one!) used to open doors and ramp the curbs of America. I was nowhere to be found amidst all this excitement in D.C., but instead, was probably busy in Kentucky practicing flips in the pool or playing wiffle ball with my brother and cousin in the front yard. I’d learn later of the heroes that made my freedom possible and the hard work leading up to that day-the signing of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).
ADA serves as a tangible reminder of our right to access all parts of society. It provides evidence that on one day, everyone agreed that we should all have at least a chance to enter the race to the American dream. The realities of living with a disability in our country are somewhere between where we’ve been and the promise of equality on the horizon. Our progress in some areas are dismal at best. One-third (34%) of Americans with disabilities make less than $15,000 a year. In some areas, we’ve even stumbled backwards as the employment gap between people with and without disabilities has widened. Home ownership, much less a white picket fence, is not an attainable part of most of our dreams. But surely, there’s more to life than money and labor. Freud and many in my little corner of the psychology profession have described the cornerstones of happiness as work and love. Many of us throw in the need for play as an essential third piece of life’s triangle. So, how are we doing with the other parts of the American dream?
Our participation in dating, relationships, marriage, and sex are surely signs of our progress in the realms of love and play, but some of the statistics aren’t any more encouraging. We are less likely to marry and more likely to divorce than our able-bodied counterparts. This shouldn’t overshadow the fact that since ADA, there are more of us able to attend college, roll in bars or clubs, and even get in touch with significant others through the phone with relay services. We have the chance to meet more people, be seen, and establish ourselves as sexual beings ready to give and receive love. The width of doorways and the number of parking spaces might not seem especially sexy, but compliance with the standards of ADA can make the difference of whether those of us with physical disabilities can even venture into the same social venues to meet potential partners or enjoy romantic time with a date or spouse. Nearly two decades after its signing, ADA still hasn’t fulfilled its promise of equality.
Much of the work our society has yet to do cannot be scripted into law or mandated by the courts. Attitudinal barriers continue to portray people with disabilities as asexual individuals unworthy of intimate relationships. What little research exists about the interaction between disability and sexuality focuses on negative aspects of abuse and vulnerability. I’m not advocating against awareness but I don’t think we need any more representations of people with disabilities solely as victims! A few characters with disabilities in the media are finally demonstrating the presence of love and intimacy in our lives, including Jason Street of Friday Night Lights and the married couple in the TLC’s Little People Big World. Although our media usually does too good of a job covering anything and everything to do with sex, inclusion of people with disabilities is still much more the rare exception than the norm. IF we want the world to change their attitudes regarding their views of us, whether it be as capable employers, competent students, or confident partners, we should recall the words of the pioneers that fought for our most basic right. “Nothing about us without us.” Advocacy regarding our right to engage in relationships, ability to be legally married and receive health care, and our rights to parent is just as important as our work in other more widely discussed arenas. Our individual comfort levels can serve as the compass to guide where we can be most helpful on issues related to our fight to be treated as equals in today’s society. Some of us are skilled at letting it all hang out (sometimes literally!) by providing specific information on adaptations that can make sex possible for people with various disabilities. Others focus on building awareness of the shameful histories of forced sterilizations and the continued denial of reproductive justice for people with disabilities. And then, there’s little ole me! I think the first thing we all need to do is talk about these issues and promote comprehensive sexual education, awareness, and an accepting attitude among people with disabilities of all ages. If you are interested in holding your own discussion, but want some help with the structure and format, feel free to use my Sexability Training presentation as a guide. If you’d like additional support, let me know. As always, advocate with passion and in the words of Justin Dart, “Lead On!”
on Jul 27th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
Hi Kara,
I’ve stopped by via the Disability Blog Carnival and your link there. Pleased to make your acquaintance this way!
on Jul 27th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
I truly enjoyed reading your blog, you really shared a lot of information on there that I had honestly never considered! My older brother has CP so I’m going to have to pass your blog link along to my mother, I know she’d enjoy reading your views as well. Thanks for the informative read!
on Jul 27th, 2007 at 6:52 pm
Your blog is a fascinating read — I’m so glad you visited mine so I could “meet” you! You definitely have a gift of words. I’ll be back to “visit” again!
on Jul 27th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
so where are these cupcakes, kara?? i’m so jealous i didn’t think of that!
on Jul 28th, 2007 at 2:27 am
Great post for the carnival…I’ve seen those TV shows and you make a great point about how rare it is to see characters with disabilities experiencing intimacy and love. I still remember this film (with Kirstie Alley) where she plays a paralyzed woman and how the sex scene was handled in that. The movie ended quickly after it - as if they weren’t quite sure what to do with the character after that.
on Jul 31st, 2007 at 4:08 pm
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on Aug 1st, 2007 at 7:42 pm
Great blog! I have OI and am about 4′. My husband is able-bodied, extremely good-looking and about 6′. Whenever we are out together and with my sister or a girlfriend of mine, people ALWAYS assume that he is THEIR husband. When they tell them that, in fact, he is my husband, people look somewhat shocked and confused. It can be very irritating, and I wish people were a little less simple minded and a little more tactful.
on Aug 9th, 2007 at 1:28 am
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article m in a Carnival! Sex and the ADA, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.
on Aug 9th, 2007 at 5:49 am
Hi Daniel,
I tried to e-mail you to provide some answers to questions you may have had about the article, but it got returned:-( So if by chance you stop back by, you are welcome to ask them here or leave an e-mail that works.
~Kara
on Mar 14th, 2008 at 12:52 am
I think it is great that more people with disabilities are being represented in positive ways within the media. Our society needs to become more familiar with disabled people to avoid increased discrimination.
on Apr 12th, 2008 at 11:04 am
Wow. Really nice post.
Abby is right. It’s very important to represnt people with disabilities in positive and right way in the media.
on May 29th, 2008 at 10:41 am
Really nice post. Good Site! Thanks you!
on Jun 3rd, 2008 at 4:15 pm
As always, great post. I’ve had your feed on my reader for a while.
As someone who is inolved in the ‘other’ (read: porn) L.A. movie industry, I have always been somewhat appaled how the topic of disability is rarely touched upon (and when it is, it’s covered in a non-flattering manner).
As with everything, awareness is the first step towards education…
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Love it
“This wasn’t your average romp on the White House lawn, but it was a day that would forever change the world for millions of people.”
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Thanks for writng this blog in a clean and straightforward way maybes the ‘normos’ will understand a little more now.
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Thanks for very interesting article. btw. I really enjoyed reading all of your posts. It’s interesting to read ideas, and observations from someone else’s point of view… makes you think more.
So please keep up the great work. Greetings.
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